Judging the Judges: Roberto Cavalli at Cannes 2008

Season Four judge Roberto Cavalli's creations were all over the red carpet at Cannes recently. Yes, of course, we have opinions, but we'll preface them by saying that we were never big fans of Cavalli, who, when he's not wallowing in Dullsville, occasionally takes side trips into Tacky Town.


Actress Lucy Liu arrives at the Kung Fu Panda Premiere.

Lorenzo likes it. Tom thinks it's dull. Whatever visual interest is provided by the flower embellishments is canceled out by the dreary cigarette-smoke color palette.

Remember, we're talking red carpet dresses here. Which means that "just pretty" ain't gonna cover it. There has to be an eye-catching quality to the dress, otherwise it's failed its primary purpose.



Singer Mary J. Blige attends the party organized by Roberto Cavalli.

Apparently, she just came in from the pool.



Actress Michelle Yeoh arrives at amfAR's Cinema Against AIDS 2008 benefit.

Too precious by a factor of about a thousand. And those ridiculous shoes aren't helping - not to mention they don't go with the dress.



Model Petra Nemcova attends the party organized by Roberto Cavalli.

Yawn.



Actress Aishwarya Rai attends the Vicky Cristina Barcelona premiere.

Stunning color and, let's face it, stunning woman. Aside from that it's fairly dull and poorly fitted. Bit of a titscrepancy there in the first picture.



Actress Aishwarya Rai arrive at the Blindness premiere.

Did her handlers roll her up in a ball and stuff her in a bag in the back of a limo?



Actress Elsa Pataky (and actor Adrien Brody) attend the Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull premiere.

You know, we're really starting to hate that "titstrap" effect we're seeing more and more of. Yes, we get it. Your girls are so huge that a mere bra is not enough. You must have giant STRAPS running underneath them, over which your voluminous cups are spilling out. Why not just wear a hand-lettered sign that says "THESE ARE MY TITS"?



Model Eva Herzigova attends the Chopard Trophy Award Party.

Sort of blandly retro but we're suckers for anyone who can pull off a Carole Lombard look effectively.



Eva Herzigova attends the party organized by Roberto Cavalli.

Also sort of blandly retro, or maybe just plain bland. Betcha Grace Kelly could've worked the shit out of it, though.




Actress Sharon Stone arrives at amfAR's Cinema Against AIDS 2008 benefit.

Completely batshit insane and doesn't give a flying fuck who knows it. Yeah, the dress is a hideosity, but who'd have the nerve to tell her? You go, Jungle Girl.

[Photos: WireImage/Celebutopia]