Down the Rabbit Hole

Really, Jennifer? Really?

Although we do love the unintentional comedy of her little "USA," as if just writing it will somehow transform Charlotte York here into Mary Lou Retton.

We're sorry, but this, like so many other entries, was just laughable. The entire episode last night was a lesson in how "I'm going to stick to my own style" is almost always a huge mistake in this competition.

Taken on its own, it's not horrible.

Wait. Let's amend that.

THIS is horrible.

We suppose she thought that, since she was making a little Sunday brunch outfit, she needed some sort of costume-y fabric to take it to another level, but that shit is fugly and tacky.

On the other hand, the little cardigan is cute.

The little shiny around the collar was a nice touch and it - and the whole outfit - is well fitted and executed for the most part.

And the proportions are nice. We don't lovelovelove the high-waisted skirt, but it's in style and we don't really mind it.

All in all, a cute little outfit for a girly-girl.

Except Jen, honey? SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE AN ATHLETE MARCHING IN AN OLYMPIC PARADE. Hello? Alice? Arwen? Are you in there?

As Nina said, she has a very girly style and there's nothing wrong with that, although personally her aesthetic really isn't to our tastes. She's not "Holly Golightly at a Dali exhibit" and there's nothing remotely "surreal" about her work. To us, it looks more in the Kate Spade vein than anything else. Again, nothing wrong with that. Except, y'know, when you wind up making little twinsets for a bunch of girls that could beat the shit out of you.

Her exit interview:





More detailed pictures:




[Photo: Bravo/Barbara Nitke - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com - Videos: Bravotv.com]
[Additional Pictures: Courtesy of ProjectRunway.com]

Fauxhawks, Leathuh, Go Ask Alice

Let's tear though some dresses, bitches!

First up: Kelli.

Lorenzo HATED this look; Tom didn't.

The end. Next!

Oh, alright.

Let's just dispense with the idea that she really nailed her inspiration. She took a picture of something black and silver and made a black outfit with silver accessories. Not wowing us with the originality.

Lorenzo thinks it's a LOT of look and a lot of that look is somewhat lame. Tom thinks the garment is fine, but the styling came close to ruining it. That fauxhawk, the overdone makeup, the gladiator sandals - it all took away from the look rather than adding to it.

That top is kind of sharp-looking and we wonder how she made it, although we don't like the fabric she used underneath. And what are those little buckley, strappy things on her torso?

Definitely not a winning look, but with better styling it could be quite chic.

Cheroin is into leathuh and she don't care who knows it.

On the one hand, she is reality television GOLD and Bravo should definitely give her her own show. A sort of What Not to Wear for roadies and Hell's Angels, we're thinking.

On the other hand, as a design contestant, she's a real pain in the ass.

"I am rock-and-roll and I am gonna die rock-and-roll."

That's great, honey. This isn't American Idol. Now go make a dress without using a hammer.

Believe it or not, we think this is very well done. She's not going to step one millimeter outside her comfort zone and that's ultimately going to get her thrown out, but at least she's demonstrating that she's good at what she does.

The proportions are nice and the metallic faux croc leather was a nice touch that dressed the look up a bit.

Although there seems to be minor fit issues around the waist and crotch area and the straps on the top are uneven.

Still, good enough to keep her in the game another week. But at some point the judges are going to have to address the elephant in the room. No matter how good her work is, if this is the sum total of her aesthetic, then she needs to go.

Jennifer always looks like she's late for a tea party through the looking glass, doesn't she?

We've been staring at this picture for ten minutes, straining to turn a "down the rabbit hole" joke into a "the rabbit died" one because for some reason, Alice here thought she was making a maternity dress.

It's just the very definition of "dowdy," from the color, to the proportions, to the fit. Absolutely nothing about this look says "night on the town." More like "formal Lamaze class."

That neckline is awful and her boobs look droopy. The only thing that referred to the inspiration were the "clock face" cuffs, but you'd never know that was what they're supposed to represent.

And multiple hems are fine, so long as they work with each other, instead of looking like she has three dresses of varying lengths on.

And WHAT is UP with that shitastic bottom hem? Poor job, Alice.


More detailed pictures:





[Photos: Bravo/Barbara Nitke - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]
[Additional Pictures: Courtesy of ProjectRunway.com]

Stella & Jennifer

Darlings, before we continue with our witty and insightful critiques, we must take a mo to tell you that, thanks to the good graces of the fine folks at ProjectRunway.com, we are receiving high quality, highly detailed pics of each dress from each episode. As we get them (and when we have the time, you demanding bitches!) we'll be updating each of our posts with these highly detailed shots, starting with Kelli's vacuum cleaner bag dress here. Check back often if you're a stickler for details!

Onward.

Dear Stella,

Darling, had we known our little nickname was going to cause such distress, we would've written it in much larger letters.

We kid, of course. We are saddened to hear that you took our little joke as an accusation that you are some sort of drug user. Why, it couldn't be further from the truth! The fact is, when we call you Cheroin, it's because you remind us of Cher, who is our heroine. Ask any gay. She's a survivor.

Nicknames are a decades-long tradition here at PRGay and all who are bestowed with one eventually come to see it as one of the greatest things to ever happen to them. Just ask Princess Puffysleeves, SissyBear and The Angry Little Peanut. They love being saddled with those names.

Love,

T Lo

P.S. Also:

You look much better when you take a little time to apply your makeup. Just sayin'.

Now.

This.

What can we say about this? We think it's pretty obvious that the only reason the judges gave it such high points was because it was such a dramatic improvement over last week's trashbag couture. This, at least, is a dress. A completed, wearable dress.

It's a dress to go along with a pole and some lucite heels, but it's at least stitched and hemmed and fitted to her body, so for that, Stella gets major increases in her score this week.

Stella wants to work with her beloved "leathuh" and she doesn't care who knows it. She just wants to "burn it up, dye it up, grommet it, pyramid it, stud it, spike it, I want to make my leathuh." We, on the other hand, simply want to shake her and wag our finger in her face and say "What are you doing here? Did you really think you were going to get to put spikes on everything week in and week out? Snap out of it!"

But y'know? Credit must be given.

Why? Because design-wise, she stuck to her guns and didn't do the dress that the fabric cried out for, didn't do the dress that the model asked for, and didn't do the kind of dress the judges normally go for.

She did the kind of dress that adheres most closely to her own aesthetic, given the constraints of the challenge, and she deserves some major props for that. She stuck to her own style and interpreted for the challenge and the client. That's the essence of how this game is won.

Don't get us wrong, we don't love the dress and we are revolted by the lace-ups, but she played the game well and while the judges may have slightly over reacted to it, she earned her way to the next round.

Jennifer took some time off from Narnia or Oz or Middle Earth or wherever the hell she spends her daydreaming time and made a dress this week.

And y'know?

It's not a bad dress.

It's not a perfect dress or even a great dress, but it had a couple things going for it. We really liked the color-blocking and the flowy, drapey quality of it. It moved beautifully and there was an immediate visual impact.

The skirt appeared to be in several pieces, and more of the gray was revealed depending on how she moved. Again, creating a visual impact with some tension to it.

There were some slight problems with the execution and parts of it looked a little sloppy. In addition, as much as we like the color-blocking, some of the proportions were off in those straps and that sash.

Plus, the way-too-prominent zipper.

The eye is drawn directly to her center and there's too much going on there.

As a look, it's definitely got some things to recommend it, but it could have used some editing (we hate those geegaws on her shoulders - totally unnecessary) and some more time in the technical areas.

If we had to sum her up, we'd say Jennifer has something to offer as a designer, but in terms of the competition, she's going to need to seriously step up her execution.

[Photos: Projectrunway.com/Bravo/Barbara Nitke - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]