Sweet P, Steven & Marion

We went back and forth on this one, but ultimately, Lorenzo joined Tom on the Dark Side and agreed that this was just not good.

First off, the frigging bow. Enough already. Second, the big sash-y straps. Too much.

And finally, it's a basic, shapeless sack. The fabric is pretty but the overall color choices are kinda bleh.

Y'know, you can take your Ramis and your Jacks,* we'll be over here swooning over Steven. He's a dreamboat.

*But don't take them too far, we might need them later.

Well...

We don't hate it, but it is a bit of a headscratcher.

It's kinda too plain and kinda too severe and it's just a little weird to see someone working a "sexy secretary" vibe amidst a sea of goddess gowns and celebutante party dresses.

It was too dark to see all the details (*shakes fist at producers for not listening to us and going with an ALL WHITE runway set*) but for the most part it looked finished and well executed. Tom likes the touch of ruffle on the back but Lorenzo doesn't.

Ugh.

We WANT to be polite and not make horrible character assumptions about people we don't know, so we feel JUST AWFUL about mentioning our observation that Marion comes off like some sort of pervert on camera, what with the paleness and the sweating and the darting eyes.

The ragamuffin clothes on a man pushing 40 doesn't help either, but we digress.

Honestly, what can we say? It's awful. They gave poor Ricky ten minutes of shit for making a pretty baby doll dress, but THIS gets not a second of comment from the judges? Really?

Did he make that skirt out of carpet remnants?

[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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Kit & Kevin

There's a bit of a theme with this post, because both of these dresses look like they started out cute and suffered head-on collisions with uglier dresses.

Looking past the gimmick, which admittedly, was tough for us, this is a sharply tailored dress rendered in beautiful fabrics. The proportions on that skirt are perfect. Hair and makeup: awful.

Shoes: To die.

Yeah, it's that red...thing that just doesn't appeal to us. We get it. We just don't like it.

It's a little too discordant, if you know what we mean.

And what's with the Mardi Gras beads or cranberries or whatever that is hanging off her shoulder? She looks like she just won a prize in a county fair.

Still, it's kinda sharp and it's kinda different.

Kevin is VERY straight and he wants you to know it. He NEEDS you to know it.

Fine by us. The gays wouldn't want to take credit for this dress.

Once again, we have a red and black dress with a wildly contrasting element. For whatever reason, this worked even less than Kit's dress.

It just looks like she has tin foil wrapped around her waist. We don't like the way it's cut and we don't like the fabric choice. In fact, the fabrics work so badly against each other, they tend to cheapen each other. Unlike most of the other dresses, you can't as easily tell that it's made of high-end fabrics.

The dress itself is pretty basic but we did like the skirt, especially the red on the hem.

But enough already with the bows, designers. The last time we saw this many bows on dresses we were in a wedding party.

[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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Jack & Carmen

Why, good morning, twig and berries! We trust that this will be the first of many appearances this season. Jack strikes us as the kind of guy for whom clothing is only a mild suggestion.

A lot of commenters seemed to like this dress and we don't get it. At most, it's just pretty.

This is another example of a garment where the fabric is doing all the work. Without that bold print, this would be a very plain dress.

And a not particularly well-fitted one. She's kinda swimming around in there.

Plus, he over-accessorized the hell out of that thing. That bag is too big and tying the big sash around it didn't do anything to tone it down.

We're making it sound like we hated it more than we did. We liked it; we just thought that it was boring and a little flawed.

And that model couldn't walk to save her life.

And for the latest in Princess Jasmine costumes, let's turn to Carmen.

We gotta say, Carmen definitely talks a good game. It's all "I'm here and no, my shit doesn't stink, thank you very much."

Unfortunately, well...this kinda stunk.

Y'know, we are all about mixing the bold colors and prints, but there's a point at which it just looks like way too much and none of the elements are "speaking" to each other any more.

AND WHAT IS WITH THAT HAIR? Is it us, or does she look like she's a contestant in a nursing home beauty contest?

Sorry, just can't get behind the crazy, mismatched, genie-out-of-the-bottle aesthetic she's working here.


[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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Chris & Jillian

Poor Chris.

Bad enough they figured out a way to make sewing into an Olympic Track & Field event, but then they had to go and edit it to make it look like it took him twenty minutes to get to the other side of Bryant Park.

We're not entirely on the same page with this dress.

Lorenzo absolutely loves it and thinks it could have been a contender for the win, but Tom has a couple complaints.

First, there's just too much going on up around her face and neck: wild print, twists, big floppy bow. It just gives the dress an off-balance feel to it.

Secondly, it's a very theatrical dress - in the literal sense. It looks almost like stagewear. Very Diana Ross "Touch me in the morning, Then just walk away."

But Lorenzo thinks it looks sexy and chic and that it was perfectly executed. He also thinks the model did a sassalicious job.

So far, we're getting a tap-shoes vibe off of everything Jillian does. Pair her up with 40 more girls in identical outfits, top them off with little sequined caps that look like fruit and we've got ourselves a Salute to Tangerines! Boop Boop Be-Doo!

It was technically accomplished and even a little striking, but it just looked way too much like a dance costume. Maybe because that wasn't so much a skirt as it was a tutu. We hated the proportions on this one.

And it also gave off way too much of a "rich bitch resortwear" vibe to us. Just not an aesthetic we respond to all that much.

Don't get us wrong, it was a well-made dress done in what we suspect is Jillian's signature style, but to us it was too stiff and a shade too costume-y.

[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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Ricky & Victorya

"I'm scared, y'know? It's like, am I going to be good enough for this competition? Am I going to make it? Am I going to have enough hats?

Y'know, because it's not just a GAME. *snf* It's my LIFE.

And my hats."

Oh Maria, you better toughen up quick.

Especially since now the judges have it out for you. They have a label for you now and it's gonna be tough for you to shake it. "He's safe," they'll say. "Sure, it's well executed, but where's the innovation?"

We thought the judges were a tiny bit hard on him, but they did what they always do: pick someone to receive their criticisms while giving others a free ride for the same thing. This dress was pretty and well-made.

We love the lines and the use of the fabric but we kinda hate the lace, which takes it just a hair too close to actual lingerie.

Did it deserve the judges' scorn? Maybe, but then why weren't the other "well made but JUST pretty" dresses getting the same treatment? We think the producers were all "We got a cryer here! Rake him over the coals and keep those cameras rolling! Send a PA over to his room and hide all his hats!"

The thing with Victorya is, regardless of her talent or whatever she puts down the runway, we can't help saying her name over and over in our heads, like "VictorYA...VictorYA." Never was a "Y" so distracting.

Anyway, the dress. To steal from Heidi, it's growing on us.

At first we were distracted by the big dollar-store fabric flower and the preponderance of mismatched strappery, but overall, it has a simple looseness and elegance that we like.

It's a pretty dress, but unlike Ricky's that's not all that it is. It does have some sass and style to it and VictorYA did a good job defending it on the runway.

We still hate the flower but at least this one was a little more ... interpreted than Rami's rather literal one.

[Photos: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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