So long, Simone!

Man, it really sucks to be the first one to go, doesn't it? We never even got a chance to figure out if we hate you!

On the other hand...

Oh, honey. Everything about this was just wrong. As puzzled as we were with the win last night, we have to say that the judges were absolutely correct in their aufing choice.

Whatever her original plan was, it looks more interesting than what she wound up with.

We pretty much hate all the fabric choices she made but man, is that yellow UGLY.

"Tim, I'm thinking of making a really boring dress in really ugly mismatched colors and then topping it off with a jacket that looks like a table runner from Pier 1's Christmas collection. Your thoughts?

Hey, where are you going?"

We can't really make any assessments as to her skill level because sometimes people need a couple tries before they can get into the swing of how things are done on Project Runway.

For all we know, she's quite skilled when she's working on her own terms, but last night's entry looked like a Sewing 101 project gone bad.

Readers, here's your assignment for today: we need a witty term for mismatched tittery. You know, when one boob looks like it's mad at the other one. We have a feeling we're going to need such a term this season.

Actually, we're going to backpedal a little. That jacket isn't bad. Put it over a little black cocktail dress and it would look quite chic.

And if she'd been wearing such a dress, that hairstyle would have looked quite chic and simple and appropriate. With this dress, it just highlighted how mismatched and uneven everything was.

Don't you worry, kittens. We have something to say about every single dress, designer, model, judge and hairstyle, so be patient and we'll get to all of it.

In the mean time, check out Simone's exit interview:




[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravo.tv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay -Videos: Bravo.tv.com]


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Bring it, Bitches.

Let's get to it, shall we?

Kevin Christiana:

Lorenzo: I hated it. I thought it was very "Jeffrey" and not in a good way.
Tom: I didn't mind it. It's a bit plain. Hate the tights, though.


Lorenzo: Love it! Thought the pants were hot as hell. Extremely impressed with the structure and fit of the jacket.
Tom: I hate to say it, but I agree. Much as I wish they weren't, formal shorts are very hot right now. A nicely put-together look.


Tom: Bleh. Talbot's for teenagers.
Lorenzo. Yeah, it's like mother and daughter dressed in one look.

Victorya Hong:

Lorenzo: I absolutely HATE sashes.
Tom: At least it's not tied in a bow. I don't mind this look. It's simple, but overall it works.


Lorenzo: I think Camilla saved this outfit. It's basically the same thing, different color.
Tom: I don't think even SHE could save it. Those are pukey colors - and I hate all that crap on the top.


Tom: LOVE.
Lorenzo: We could have made the same criticisms about this one, but there was something about the way it moved, combined with the colors. It was breathtaking when she walked.
Tom: I agree. The colors absolutely made this outfit. Personally, my favorite out of the whole show. Simple done right.
Lorenzo: Mine too. A perfect example of needing to see the outfit in person. The pictures didn't do it justice.

Elisa Jimenez:

Lorenzo: I was DUMBFOUNDED when I saw this. I loved it. Of course, you have to have zero body fat to wear it, but hey. If you do...
Tom: I was surprised at how well executed this was. It looks like some sort of loopy deconstructed thing when you first see it, but when she walked past us, I could see how well-made it was. Pure high-impact.


Tom: Speaking of loopy, deconstructed things...
Lorenzo: Did she even use a needle and a thread?
Tom: No, a loom.


Tom: Well, she's barefoot, so we'd hate it no matter what.
Lorenzo: What's with the top a different color?
Tom: You can see color?
Lorenzo: She looks like she's wet.
Tom: And not in the good way.
Lorenzo: Hates it.
Tom: Concurs.

Rami Kashou:

Lorenzo: Oh my God, don't get me started on this one.
Tom: Kayne, party of one. Kayne, party of one. I don't hate it, but you go ahead.
Lorenzo: It looks like she was gift-wrapped - in a dollar store.
Tom: I agree that she looks a little lamp-shadey and the fabric is awful, but if Rami - *sigh*
Lorenzo: *sigh*
Tom: - if he wanted to impress the crowd with his construction skills, mission accomplished.


Tom: One thing I noticed right off the bat is that Amanda could barely walk in this.
Lorenzo: And that bitch can WALK. It's a fucking prom dress.
Tom: It's Morticia's prom dress. I hate that bustline.


Lorenzo: I love your drapes.
Tom: Put a couch in front of her.
Lorenzo: I feel a bit bad because Rami - *sigh*
Tom: *sigh*
Lorenzo: - he can do better. Quite frankly, I'm disappointed.
Tom: Like I said, I think he was trying to show off his construction skills, but this was all just a little too goddess-y by way of Star Trek. Maybe it would look better on a green bitch.
Lorenzo: I don't know how else to say it, but his approach comes off way too "fashiony."

Simone LeBlanc:

Tom: *HURL*
Lorenzo: I'm speechless.
Tom: I'm not. First: the gloves. I know they're trendy right now but I think they look RIDICULOUS. Second, this was VERY deconstructed up close. Unfinished hems and all. Third: The COLORS are HIDEOUS.
Lorenzo: Um. I agree.


Lorenzo: Apparently she got a deal on that fabric.
Tom: It does have "99 cents/yard" written all over it.


Lorenzo: Okay, we see your boobs. I mean, there's nothing there.
Tom: It's quite a feat to make something hideous AND nondescript at the same time. It's like...invisibly ugly.

(Photos: G. Gershoff/WireImage)