Drama Queens

Oh, Joe. You fill us with mixed emotions this week. On the one hand, we could feel your utter joy upon finding out the challenge and we were pulling for you to get a little recognition and felt your frustration as you got passed over for the win.

On the other hand, it looks like you put so much pressure on yourself that you kinda got a little douchey there for a minute.

We liked the design on paper. A little too NASCAR, but then again, that's a hell of a lot closer to appropriate than the cocktail dresses, Bo Peep, and brunch outfits.

And for the most part, we liked the final product.

In reality, it was just as NASCAR as it looked on paper but we honestly didn't mind that so much, even if it wasn't a particularly unique approach.

The fact is, he put out a look that looked like it was supposed to be worn at the Olympics. That puts him so far ahead of the majority of the pack, we don't blame him for thinking he had it in the bag.

Also, matching the red and blue zippers was a nice touch and kudos to the judges for noticing it.

But here's where it failed. The word "skort" is usually met with a gasp at Chez T Lo, but he sold us on the idea when he sketched it. Certainly it would give the appearance of looking a little more formal than shorts while giving them a little comfort and still looking sporty.

Why, then, would he make the front six inches longer than the back? It looks like an apron. We suspect it was so long so he could have those graphic elements without looking crowded, but why not make the shorts longer to match it, then?

Despite that, it was a pretty sharp look. We can understand why the judges didn't pick it but we suspect that he wouldn't agree with us on that.

We think Daniel is entertaining in that high-strung, sweaty, dandy way that you see, well....nowhere, really.

But we have to say he got on our nerves a little this week. All this "I'm into high-end glamor. This has nothing to do with what I'm really used to. It's all very confusing to me." bullshit got annoying real fast. This is the fifth season of the show. If you really thought you were going to go in there every day and make pretty little cocktail dresses for 4 weeks, then you're being really naive.

"I am catering towards a cocktail, more evening, more fantasy look from the 40s and modernizing it."

Really. And no one slapped you and told you to snap out of it? HELLO? OLYMPICS? DOES ANY OF THAT RING A BELL?

The funny thing is, for all his talk of how chic and glamorous it was going to look...

She wound up looking like Olive Oyl guest-starring on Sex and the City.

Come on, what are we supposed to say about this? Just like Jennifer's it was so far from appropriate that all you can do is point and laugh at it. The judges certainly did.

"This isn't it, right? She got here late from another job and didn't have time to change, yes?"

"HAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm sorry. I can't. Someone else handle this one."

To be fair, there's no line we could write as funny as the Duchess's "Republic of Cocktail" and "Olympic drinking" comments. Bitch was on her game. We salute you, Persimmon Princess.

Poor thing looked like he threw up in his mouth a little, too.

It's like Jackie Kennedy as portrayed by Minnie Mouse.

It's Just. So. WRONG.

Even if he had done it in a more sophisticated color than that purple-y blue that changed colors under the lights, it's still not all that interesting a design even for a cocktail dress, nor is it all that glamorous.

Truly, this was one of the most delusional episodes of PR ever.


More detailed pictures:




[Photos: Bravo/Barbara Nitke - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]
[Additional Pictures: Courtesy of ProjectRunway.com]

Staggering to the finish line.

Strap yourselves in, bitches. We're in the homestretch!

Korto's initial good impression is rapidly fading with each challenge. While this week's entry was better than last week's, it's still a fairly poor attempt.

Look, jumpsuits are making a comeback (although we suspect it's a brief one), so points to her for being on trend. That doesn't mean we have to like it, though.

Did the designers collectively just not get this challenge? What about this look says "night on the town in NYC?" What does the picture she took have to do with this look?

It's a testament to how badly these looks are photographed on the show that there's simply no way to tell that she apparently used rope and braiding techniques to mimic the column in the picture. It's way too subtle to be appreciated, but she did actually make a limited attempt at "inspiration."

Still, it's just a terribly bland look paired with bland styling. We're not all that crazy about the proportions either. The flare on those pants is insane and the bust and collar do weird things to her torso. Not flattering and not interesting.

Suede misses his mommy.

It's ... alright, we guess. So long as you ignore the execution and fit flaws. And the bigass HAZMAT boots.

He really only took color from his inspiration and then went off on his own. To our tastes, there's a little too much shiny and a little too much bling here.

To his credit, he did use some nice details that didn't show up on the Black Runway of Doom.

It's just that it's kind of sloppy-looking and it doesn't appear to fit her properly anywhere.

Still, lose the tacky belt, steam that thing, take another crack at that hemline, and put it on a person it fits correctly and it's not a bad look.

If Daniel wrote his autobiography, it would be titled Daniel Feld: Ten Seconds to Meltdown. Not that he ever will have a meltdown. He appears to live in a perpetual state of razor's edge. Almost, but not quite, flipping out.

And we don't get this dress. It looks like she's still in the process of putting it on.

Like so many others, his inspiration was incredibly vague but props to him for mimicking the quality of light in the photo so effectively.

There's all kinds of ...business going on in that bodice.

So much, that we can't really get a handle on it. The finished effect looks like a lot of extra fabric hanging of her boob.

Just once, we'd like to see Daniel (who we can tell is talented) would calm down and make something a little simple and classic just to prove that he can. He seems to be throwing every trick he knows at the dress form every week and the result is always too much look.


[Photos: Bravo/Barbara Nitke - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]
[Additional pictures: Courtesy of ProjectRunway.com]

Daniel & Emily

Daniel, honey. Seriously. Do some deep breathing, talk to your doctor to see if Xanax is right for you, buy some crystals, masturbate - whatever. Just calm down.

Because honey, even your dress looks nervous. It looks fussed over and disheveled and unsure of itself; like she's going to spend the night in the corner adjusting her bra straps and picking imaginary lint off herself.

The proportions are way off on this thing and nothing looks well fitted or well executed.

The bodice is shapeless and unflattering. The placement of the straps/cap sleeves makes her look wider than she is and the waist can't seem to decide where it wants to sit on her.

We do like the skirt, especially from behind.

We get the impression there's a kernel of creativity and skill there with Daniel. But we're not kidding, his high anxiety is gonna kill him in this contest. The likelihood of his impending psychotic break increases with each challenge. He's gonna be a puddle of sweat with a damp tie floating in it if he makes it to Bryant Park.

Emily talks a big game about how her work is "underground," but so far, we don't see it.

Or is "underground" the new slang for "three sizes too small?" Put a bow in her hair and she's a slutty Baby Snooks.

It's not all bad. We really like the braiding in the bodice - and that's saying something because we rarely like braided fabric.

And the back of it's not bad.

It's just the utterly bizarre proportions on this thing. Everything either sits too low or rides too high; the cups make her boobs look small (and low) and the skirt makes her hips look wide and her legs look heavy. Could've been cute, but the execution was a big fail.

[Photos: Projectrunway.com/Bravo/Barbara Nitke - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]